Don't Fight It...

When you're feeling something, feel it.
Don't run away from it...
'Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it.' -Dumbledore  :D

Everyone feels pain...a bad exam day, a break-up, a family member being ill, a pet dying, a friend moving away. And the love that we feel for people makes our lives AMAZING until they're removed from our lives. Don't cry because they're gone, smile because they were there.

It's in human nature to fight against things that we don't understand. We cannot go outside at night without a torch because we FIGHT against the dark. From space, you can see all of the lights in the cities in the nighttime. So even space can see how afraid we have become.

We need to STOP FIGHTING THINGS.
Go out in the rain without a raincoat.
On a cold day, open all the windows.
Have dessert first.
Wear your shoes on the wrong feet.
Live like you are UNAFRAID...
Sing out loud that you love the earth but not running away from your emotions. Feel them, cry, shout. When it's over...live your life like you did before. You're not forgetting or replacing people or things...you're just helping yourself to live the best life that you can. You're honoring the things that have passed :D

IRELAND :D

So.

On Facebook earlier this year...on the list of people 'I May Know...' there was a picture of this chick with black ponytails, a lip piercing and a shirt that said 'Five Hundred Dollar Smut.'

I friend requested her.

And.

She accepted.

This was Ireland Kraft.

She is amazing.

If I had never met her. I would have been depressed most of this WHOLE YEAR.

>>FACTS ABOUT IRELAND...

{She flaps her arms and squeals when she's happy}

{She has THEEEE cutest smile EVER}

{She has planked before}

{She is really a boy. Because, you know}

{She LOVES Sundrop}

{Earlier this year she got THE most SORE-looking sunburn EVER}

{She is buds to, like, EVERYONE that knows her}

{She ADORES BOTDF}

{She cuts her hair all the time}

{She has made me YOUTUBE videos}

{She has theee most BOSS editing skills}

{She is SO SWEET and MAKES MY DAY almost EVERY DAY}

{She lives in America}

{She is buds with Hannah Blacker, Morgan Chiverella and Haley}

{She paints her face like a kitty}

{She pierced her own lip....BRAVE}

{She is the WHACKIEST person ever}

{Oh yes....SHE IS A COMPLETE STUNNER. She is INSANELY pretty. She has AMAZING eyes and the most BEAUTIFUL face. Even with whiskers <3}

So, I'm sure that you can tell that I LOVE Ireland EXTREME amounts and I WISH we were sisters <3

Well, we are.

LEGITLY <3

I LOVE YOU IRELAND <3 <3

All It Takes...

CHOOSE TO BE :D

You Are The One Responsible For Your Own Happiness :)

Florence Welch sings an amazing song, 'Shake It Out' {Florence & the Machine}and some of the lyrics are:

"And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn "

Albus Dumbledore {Harry Potter, J.K Rowling} said:

"Happiness can be found in the darkest of time
If only we remember to turn on the light."

This makes me realise....that each and every single person is responsible for their own happiness. Other people can influence how we feel at any given time...but if we chose not to let it bother us, we can stat happy despite what happens.

We need to remember that dwelling in the past and focusing on things that are depressing or uninspiring will bring us down.

SMILE and it will lift you and everyone around you. :D

FRIENDS :D

I only realised in the past few days how much my friends MAKE MY LIFE...and without them howlost-like i would be. They support, love and help me through ANYTHING :D

SIMONE :D

I was friends with her when we were in nappies...but she moved Durban then to Port Elizabeth and only came back when we were twelve. The earliest memory of us I have is her burping in my face. Lovely.
But after sleepovers, dances, parties, break-ups, breaktimes, shopping trips, bowling, adventure golf, trawling brightwater in the middle of the night..I don't think that I could wish for a better friend. I am a HUNDRED percent sure that we will still be friends in thirty years time!
She has an amazing sense of humour and fun and with her jokes, smiles and premature insightful wisdom, i manage to get through difficult things. <3

ASHLEIGH <3
I only met Ashleigh last year in grade eight...but we have such a strong friendship i feel like I've known her for ten years instead of two :D She brightens my day with her brutal honesty and sense of humour. There is never a dull moment with her. She is a STUNNER and I am slightly embarassed to be in pictures with her because of this :D
We made technology dresses together, trawled the Harry Potter cinema (where I lost our tickets) went to Potted Sports, assemblies, break-times, the rugby, everything. I cannot live without her amazing smile and support :)

SHANNON :D
We met when we were eleven and took an instant dislike to eachother. Through Simone, we bonded until we became almost inseperable last year. Since then, we've grown apart quite a bit, but her CRAZY personality and ability to make anyone laugh, feel comfortable or dance unashamedly make me LOVE HER. She helps me get through things and loves me for what I am :D

LEA :D
I'm sure this has been one of my zaniest friendships EVER. I don't think that I really know a wiser, kinder, funnier, less self conscious person my age! Lea provides immaculate support and makes me laugh even when I feel like curling up and dying. :( She understands EVERYTHING that i feel...she is my opinion twin :)

REESE :D
He's my cousin, but long before I even knew that I LOVED HIM SO MUCH! He's the craziest guy, a complete gentleman, willing to try anything, ready to support, hug, tell secrets, share crazy stories, skateboard, watch retarded horror movies, laugh until we're about to puke and help me with anything I need...I know he will always be there :D

LOUIS :D
Just recently we've become good friends...but I know that he has my back and won't judge me :D

AND a VERY special thanks to all of my other friends must also be said here...
Mishka, Hannah, Matthew, Bryce, Morgan, Ireland, Jessica, Aya, Priyanka, Geraldine, Brandon AND all of the other people who support and love me :D

A Lesson Learned

The awkward moment when I realised that I was going to fail my Accounting exam on my backside, I started reading the posters on the walls. Some of which read:

'Its about love.
Its about compassion.
Its about kindness and faith.
It has nothing to do with luck.
You get what you give, so give good <3'

'You will never get old if you carry your childhood with you.'

'The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be ignited.'

This sparked various other things to be rolled over in my mind closed to the blank General Ledger account paper in front of me.
Just recently, a boy I loved very much and thought I was completely happy with, told me a big lie. I tried my VERY best to believe him, thinking that what other people were telling me was useless and untrue. Instead, I realised that ignoring my parents and my friends who told me that he was untrustworthy and abusive, I was believing the very person who is now ostracizing me and acting as if I have hurt him, when all I have done is be trusting, loving and affectionate.
I realised that you need to be perfectly happy on your own so that when something happens to you, you love yourself enough not to blame yourself for everything or go on a drastic diet, or dye your hair blue in a last-ditch attempt to be still loved by a selfish person who has respect only for himself.

I also realised that instead of thinking 'Why is this happening to me?!' you should rather ask yourself 'Why am I being sad about this!?' and choose to be happy.
In the days following the fight that we had, I had a foam fight with my brothers, painted my face, playing loud dance music and ran through the rain. I was choosing to be happy. I made myself think of other things, instead of letting poisonousness creep into my brain and depress. This all made sense inside, but the person who I rammed with a shopping trolley while coasting on it at top speed, didn't exactly understand it.

I also learned that talking to people on electronic messaging helps NOTHING. It in fact worsens the problem and messages get mixed-up and mis-interpreted. Rumours spread like wildfire.

I was so thankful for my friends Simone and Ashleigh, who in the last week have taught me that it does not matter what anyone else thinks, but that we will always be there for eachother and people cannot damage us if we choose to think positive and love everything around us :D

love {heart} ^^

beautiful songs {HEART}

Oh, oh.
They’re telling me it’s beautiful.
I believe them, but will I ever know
the world behind my wall.
Oh, oh.
The sun will shine like never before.
One day I will be ready to go,
see the world behind my wall.

Trains in the sky are travelling
trough fragments of time.
They’re taking me to parts of my mind
that no one can find.
I’m ready to fall.
I’m ready to crawl on my kness to know it all  {tokio hotel, world behind my wall}




When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life  {one republic, good life}


I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home... {fort minor, where'd you go?}


So hear this please
And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly
And look for the stars as the sun goes down
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic

And do you ever lay awake at night?
And do you ever tell yourself don't try?
Don't try to let yourself down
Don't try to let yourself down
And do you ever see yourself in love?
And do you ever take a chance, my love?
Because you know that I will..
Because you know that I will.. {angels and airwaves, everything's magic}


I will wait dear
A patience of eternity, my crush.
A universal still, no rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream { black veil brides, the mortician's daughter}


When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she flied {colplay, paradise}


I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone  {ellie goulding, lights}


There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.  {jimmy eat world, hear you me}


I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest  {linkin park, leave out all the rest}


And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all
The things that I said
To make you
Feel like that
And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed
And I
Take back all the
Things that I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to {linkin park, my december}

With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you  {linkin park, hands held high}

My shadow followed when you walked away
And ever since that day
My life has never been the same
My friends all asked just why you went away
And all that I can say is that your heart was in another place

And all I know is when I move away
My heart will stay in this midwestern state {nevershoutnever, i just laugh}

Nothing is real
I know this cause I made a deal
With the devil
He told me that I was just wasting my time on the moon

So I flew to the sun
Lost track of my soul on the run
Suffering 12 degree burns
I learned that the sun was no fun

So I went back to earth
Tripped and fell in the glorified dirt
Honestly, gravity sees me as a liability

So I held my breath
Til my soul left my body for dead
I ripped through the clouds
To talk with the man in the sky

I said
"Take this for what it is
I think you're a tad bit prejudice
Against the ones like us that are searching for the answers"

He said
"Kid you don't know it
You should go back home and live
In that quiet little town you left behind"

I'm coming home
Don't you cry (don't you cry)
I'm coming home
Just in time (just in time) {nevershoutnever, time travel}

I just want to go home 
This roads so cold 
And I'm alone 
I've got my friends 
But they don't know 
I've lost my soul 
I'm made of stone 
I'm just so tired 
Nothing is real 
I lost my love 
To the complex inside me 
I was so mean to a girl 
Who loved me unconditionally 
Is it so wrong, 
Is it so wrong 
To be in love? 
And oh, 
Is it so wrong, 
Is it so wrong 
To be in love, 
To be in love? 
I don't know. 
Face your heart to the door 
You fooled them once 
But now you're sure  {nevershoutnever, complex heart}

I'm sorry for the nights I let you down
Now all that's left to see is that I turned around
Back to the boy you fell in love with
Not this prick that brings you down
remind your mom to call me I still care
cause her approval ment the world
and i will not dare to disagree
With the life you arrange
Just remember only god knows if I change {nevershoutnever, overtheyears}

You were my conscience
so solid now you're like water
We started drowning
not like we'd sink any further
But I let my heart go
it's somewhere down at the bottom
But I'll get a new one.
come back for the hope that you've stolen

I'll stop the whole world
I'll stop the whole world
from turning into a monster, and eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?
But now that you're gone the world is ours

I'm only human
I've got a skeleton in me
But I'm not the villain
despite what you're always preaching
Call me a traitor
I'm just collecting your victims
They're getting stronger,
I hear them calling  {paramore, monster}

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time  {nicole kidman, [the moulin rouge]  come what may}

Softly we tremble tonight
Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in site
I said, I'd never leave, you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price

You said, you said that you would die for me  {red jumpsuit apparatus, cat and mouse}

 will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one {red jumpsuit apparatus, your guardian angel}

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump

You open your eyes
But you can't remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can't feel it no more
Somewhere out there
You lost yourself in your pain
You dream of the end
To start all over again {tokio hotel, don't jump}